ChooseToday · Life

All consuming Fear inside of me

e5a8cb80c485e69e194642ba9e3c9922

Why is fear so hard to overcome?

Here I am sitting in the stillness listening to my mind telling me all the things that I want to do but don’t feel like its worth doing or that I am worth doing it.

Everything I want in life tells me that I am just a failure. Everything I want to work for is a lie. Everything I told myself is truth is not. My mind says Heather your fears are greater than your actions. All these words mean nothing because you are letting yourself be held back. By your own self.

And so I say STOP…. Fear be Gone

You will choose the life of your dreams and you will not wait any longer. It is time to soar….

 

#choosethismoment

~Be the Light~

Heather

Advertisements
ChooseToday · Life

When its time to purge the negative

image

Not everyday works the way you want it. There are times when an overwhelming presence of darkness tries to creep in and take you over and burn the light out that you have worked so hard to shine bright. It has you looking over the edge wondering if you can keep a strong hold.

The one thing I have promised myself is I will not let that happen again. There are days when it seems its raining and then it starts to pour, one thing after another start to fill you up with negativity and nothing seems good. When this happens all I see is the negative side of life. I start to listen to it and fill myself up with self doubt.

I have had a few of those days lately. I try really hard to be positive but my old self wants to find every good reason to just let the dark rain cloud pour over me. I can’t find any good out of the why.

But my new self comes in and is taking hold because I have worked so hard to train my brain to focus on the power of positive and see the light and so I ask why is this happening? What can learn from this situation? Is there a good part to this bad situation? It helps to ask questions to change your focus. It does take work and takes being independent and not following what everyone else does. Many of us just go with the flow and accept it but we don’t have to. We have the power to change it.  It makes us stronger.

Some things I decide when I am trying to purge the negativity:

-Pray

-Throw out old clothes or do a clean out of clutter in my house that I don’t want

-Read a Bible verse

-Look at old pictures that remind you of happiness

-Read a good book

-Listen to a positive, uplifting song or podcast

-Rid my social media of negativity by unfollowing or unliking.

-Cleaning out my email box of unwanted junk that fills it up

There are many more but these are few off the top of my head that work for me.

We all have the power to change our thinking and our situation. Find what good can come out of that overwhelming situation. Purge the negativity. It can be tough but each time you do it, the better life gets. We can’t change other people but we can change ourselves and it all starts with us!

#choosetoday #choosethismoment

~Be the Light~

Heather

Life

I ask myself this one question…

Awake. Love. Think. Speak. Be walking trees. Be talking beasts. Be divine waters.
C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew (Chronicles of Narnia, #6)

If today were my last day to be alive …. Would I be happy with what I’ve accomplished?

Is this what I’d actually be doing if I knew I would not awake tomorrow?

many days the answer is no.

I still have so much I want to do and see and be.

How can I be satisfied with my life knowing I’m not where I want to be or that I haven’t done all I want to do?

can I be content?

or is it ok that I want more  and I actually won’t ever be truly content until my final day comes on this earth and I reach my Heavenly Father?

The Christian says, ‘Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same.’
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

And to think of all I have to or more so what I want to accomplish when there never seems to be enough time, enough days, enough mind, enough me, to go around.

I get myself all worked up and then I just turn numb because I am on overload of information trying to find everything I want to be and to do.

I then realize I was given my heart desires and that I’m suppose to live out my dreams. They were put there for a reason and day by day I do get to where I’m suppose to be even though it seems like it’s taking forever.

I then look back and realize so much has changed. There has been much good in my life. I am truly blessed.

That’s what living is all about.

So if today was my last day would I be happy with where it ended?

Yes I would because I know that I have done all I could have done and all I was supposed to have done for this time and I am joy filled because I was made for another world.

In this life I will strive to make each moment count even when it’s painful, even when I’m longing for more. I will find beauty in every moment because I choose it. I can’t do it alone though only by the grace of God I find the beauty worth living for. In knowing this, I’m content.

We are given our paths and we get to choose how they go, even if we make a wrong turn, good can come out of it.

“We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I choose this moment and every moment, everyday.

#choosetoday #choosethismoment

Be the Light for all to see~

~Blessings~

Heather

“It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.”
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

IMG_4772

ChooseToday · Life

Creating our own Mission

When I  first started my blog I wanted to complain about having a type 1 diabetic and celiac son. I wanted to complain about being a mom and a wife. And then I just wanted to complain period.

Then later I thought I could do something towards health  or something of the other and I had a million things I wanted it to be about but I could never quite feel it and get in my groove.

With so much complaining, all I wanted was it to be something of an outlet but not an outlet that was me whining, having a pity party, day in and day out.

One night as I lay in bed trying to figure out what I was wanting in life, I heard These words “choose today”. I was tired of being negative and whining . It wasn’t getting me anywhere, which came about my thoughts on how I would CHOOSE today.

I thought, I can choose today to be so much more.

To make a difference. To be who God wants me to be. To be who I want to be. Though I struggle and it’s hard, I still get to make that choice.

As I have been in the process of changing my thoughts and my perception, I have really been trying to figure out what I want and how I want to portray who I am. I had this thought in my mind but I couldn’t see it clearly, It kept changing. I kept growing.

Today my blog is about inspiration.

It’s about being a mom and a wife.

It’s about the ups and the downs and all the in between.

It’s about making dreams with my husband and seeing sometimes that the other ones may go away.

It’s about stepping out and owning a business while trying to raise our kids and do so much we never thought was possible by just having a little faith.

It’s about sharing my love of adventure and travel and photography and all the little things that make life seem so special and to create memories.

It’s about not always getting it right but sharing that it’s ok to be down, it’s ok to be up, its ok to enjoy all the little moments.

It’s about showing my kids how to keep hanging on when the going gets tough and to come out stronger in the end.

It’s about teaching them to be so much more than they could ever see possible and for us to be so much more than we thought we ever could.

It’s about creating the moments that make up our life and that we get to choose how we react in those moments, good and bad.

Each day is a new day.

I get to choose how I want to make it.

It may take time to break the bad habits and to get where your goal is but each moment adds up to bigger moments until you have finally reached your goal and then you are ready to make a new one.

It’s about making those moments exciting and finding the laughter when all we may seem to find is sadness. It’s about sharing my story so I can hopefully inspire someone else to share their story and we can all create a bright shining light and help others to see their life is worth living.

It’s worth thriving!

It’s worth making all your moments count. It’s about not taking anything for granted. It’s about being thankful for all things- every little moment!

And so here it is, where I want to share with you how to, choose this moment, today, even when sometimes we don’t feel like it.

It is not possible for it to always be perfect or for us to always be happy. We are going to have down days and bad things that may happen but if we can choose how to grow in those moments and be grateful.

If we could share our story to  help someone else who may feel all alone and let them know, hey you are not alone in this. You got this. You can make it through that trial. You can make it through today.

All you have to do is choose today, choose this moment right now and I promise it will all be worth it!

IMG_5384

http://choosethismoment.com/choose-today/

#choosetoday  #choosethismoment

Be a Shining Light for all to see!!

~Blessings~

Heather

ChooseToday

-Choosing – Light

IMG_0375.JPG

I’ve been in darkness- the darkness that robs you of your life. It haunts you, it tells you there’s nothing worth living for.

It says this life is too hard. When I have to try and I don’t want to. All I wanted to do is stay wrapped up in my bed in the dark and hide from everyone and everything.

I did not like myself. I felt ugly, fat, worthless, what was my point for even being alive?! I couldn’t make a difference.

I had three reasons to wake up and even those three reasons weren’t making it as easy as it once was. I had a thick black cloud that wouldn’t leave me and I wondered would I ever feel free?

Until I decided that wasn’t a way to live. I was over here having a pity party for myself when there were others with a lot worse going on in their lives but they still managed to live. I was being selfish.

I cried out to God and said open my eyes. Help me see me how you see me.

Show me my purpose.

Be with me even when I question your truth. What is your truth God I’m so confused?

This didn’t happen quickly in the blink of an eye. It was a slow process until I started to realize that black cloud had completely faded.
I was looking forward to the day and I was ready to tackle life.

My three important reasons that kept me going needed me. they needed me to teach them the real way to live. full of sparkle, full of wonderment, full of life. Finding Gods truth in all things.

Knowing he loves us even when we question him.
Knowing we are worth more than silver and gold to him

Living free from chains and bondage.

These three human beings they are my purpose.

I’ve been in darkness and I found the light!
I don’t ever want to go back…

Be the light… Matthew 5:14

John 1:5 And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

John 12:35 Then Jesus said to them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness come on you: for he that walks in darkness knows not where he goes.

What haunts you? Do you ever feel like you can’t really live? Can you reach for the light out of the darkness?
Do you know what you are worth?

#choosetoday #choosethismoment #bethelight

~Blessings~

Heather

Beauty · ChooseToday · Life

Disappointments and Failures

IMG_4355

“The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.”

– Dr Joan Borysenko, medical scientist and psychologist (b.1945).

We have all experienced one, sometime or another. Disappointments or a failure that is.   Did this affect how you choose to live your life? Did a certain disappointment affect you as a child and make you the way you are today? Or maybe not even as a child but in your adult life? Or has a failure stopped you from choosing your dreams?

Definition of DISAPPOINT

transitive verb
: to fail to meet the expectation or hope of : frustrate <the team disappointed its fans>

Fail·ure

[feyl-yer] 

noun 1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success:

I have had many disappointments. And I have had many failures. Even more so as an adult, that have made me question everything I believe in. I have failed or feared of failing which makes me question every dream and put fear in the place of living. I’ve questioned God. Why god, why do we have to suffer in this painful world? But then on the flip side there is so much beauty yet so many of us can ‘t even touch or see a glimpse of it and I ask why?

Its hard when you are in your lowest of lows and trying to make a choice to come out of the dark and back into the light. We really do have a choice, a tough choice, but its our to make. Our choices are infinite in measure.  Will I let life’s disappointments change me? Will I let them overcome me and make me worthless and feel sorry for myself? I can honestly say I have let the darkness take me and poison my mind. My thoughts tell me I am worthless. I am a failure. I am not good enough.  But I stop it, I shout at them at the top of my lungs, I have made a decision to fight those poisonous, all consuming thoughts.  I will choose the impossible and choose it today as it is overtaking me. I ask myself what choice will I choose today to make a difference?! To love myself, to be joyful even in sorrow, to smile, to help others and as I list these out I realize the infinite amount of positive decisions I can replace the darkness with. I can use a bad situation and change myself for the better and to really live life, learning how to enjoy every moment it brings through sorrow, through joy, through life and through death.  I have to choose to decide what to do to face my fears and to overcome disappointment. Life can be sad and painful but it can also be an absolutely, positively amazing and beautiful experience. It is still a work in progress but I am taking the steps to find myself and to choose a more positive way. If I  choose to let my letdowns define me in a positive way than I have actually become a better person. I am stronger. I have more faith. I am one with my spiritual soul. I can feel. I can actually feel the spirit within me. I become alive and my eyes have opened and I am awake, really awake!

We have a choice to be interconnected with the spirit and our earth world. And in this Earth we need to find our purpose. What path to take? How will we let our choices affect us? How will we let things we have no control of take us over? Our minds polluted, sad, lost, our souls fighting for good and evil. All is not lost. Even when we feel it is. What do you really want out of life? What can you do to make a difference or to fulfill your purpose in this life? Can we take a bad moment and change it for the good to help others? I believe so. How do we do this? I am still figuring that out but I know by helping others to realize that we all are really not that different. We all have our wants, our needs, our lifelong dreams and we also have our bad things and the feelings that we are worthless or that there’s no reason to try any longer. Fight, make that choice to get on the right track. Be positive. Face your fears. Choose the impossible! Luke 1:37 “Nothing is impossible with our God”   I can let my sadness overcome me and take my mind and my soul or I can say hey sad pathetic life I throw you out and I start fresh. And I will share that with others to let them know, you do have a choice!

When  a sad event happens  such as when my son was hospitalized and diagnosed with a disease he will have forever , I felt all was lost in this world. I felt that everything in our world was tumbling down and no one understood my pain. No one could feel it because they weren’t going through it. Its hard to keep smiling and saying yeah this is our new normal, everything’s fine,  but really I wanted my old normal. I let my old normal overrule my thoughts and let that consume me.  Some may not think diabetes is a big thing but it is something that silently affects you and its painful to watch your child suffer when there is nothing you can do about it. I know people live with this disease all the time and they have all this cool stuff and man made insulin to help control it but that didn’t matter to me. I want a cure. I don’t want a stupid pump that we have to worry about getting wet and sites falling out,  and not working properly and paying for medication and supplies. Or stupid insulin injections and making sure anytime we go somewhere we are always prepared for all situations. As for now the rest of his life will be worrying and making sure we are on track to keep him alive and as healthy as we can. Watching my babies body become bruised and scarred from all the injections and site changes,well It sucks,Plain and simple. He has lost a part of his childhood. The freedom to be a kid. When my son cry’s to me that he just wants to be a normal kid, it breaks my heart. He has to think about his choices and the fact this disease is about living or dying  every day.  I thought of all the would of’s, could of’s, should of’s and blamed myself for not being able to have a healthy boy. I got angry. I hated God. I hated this world. I did not understand why these things have to happen. And no one could tell me why. Its just part of life. We all suffer and some of us deal with it and some of us don’t. I was in complete darkness. I wanted the past and could not look to the future. But then something changed in me and I started to fight those feelings. God placed dreams of hope in me. He shook me back alive! I started to realize that we could still live, even in our new normal. I had to make a decision of how positive I could be to help my son to have the best life given his disadvantages of living a life of constant uncertainty.  I believe in fighting that sadness and sorrow that polluted my mind.  I believe in an all powerful God. I decided that I believe in healing even if its not in this world or our lifetime. I believe in the Holy Spirit!  My soul is no longer lost. I can say I am truly living.  I feel joy again, I feel alive again! I had to choose this. I had to fight my mind telling me this life is worthless and nothing is worth living for. I had to fight the sadness and darkness that all consuming pain that was overtaking me.  But this is a lie from the pit of darkness. No darkness is going to take me over. I choose the Light!

I believe as a human being we have to go through storms and in that storm we find God. There is a spiritual fight for our souls. What will win? The light or the dark? I still question why we are on this earth but the more I question it, the more I am coming to realize I may never really know that answer until I face death. What I have come to know is we are made to love, to be love and to feel love. We are made to dream and to have hope. That’s all we want. We are made to experience life in all its possibilities. We are made to see beauty and to feel pain but to find our self and to find the dreams that have been lost. We are made to help others when they are stuck in that darkness and can’t seem to come out. That is the object of finding our mission in life. Love, beauty, hope, pain and sorrow. It all intermingles as one and how we deal with it.

We have Infinite choices- what choice will you make when you have faced disappointment?

“When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

– Morrie Schwartz, American educator and writer (1916 – 1995)

“… almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

– Steve Jobs, American Entrepreneur, Apple co-Founder (b.1955)

Life

I choose to be Free

Its my choice to be a good person today and to wake up ready to conquer this tough world. I will choose to smile and to give my everything that I possibly can.  There of course are days where I just don’t really want to but again I get up and dust my self off and keep on keeping on.  I wonder if I am capable of helping others when I myself struggle but I have this goal in my mind that I can do it.  There comes a time in everyone’s life where you just go through a struggle and I think that’s what makes us humans and makes us interesting and why people want to be motivated by our struggles and how we got through them. If you can go through dark times and come out stronger who would not want to commend you. I am set free and saved. No matter how many times I am afflicted and feel down and like life is going no where, I remember that He was afflicted for us and we are saved by forgiveness and grace. No matter how tough life gets or how sad or weak I may think I feel I can choose to do better. I can encourage others. I can smile. I can laugh at the days to come. So for this, I choose today to be Free. Free from any and all afflictions.

I am amazed by these bible verses.- But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.- Corinthians 12:9

In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bare them, and carried them all the days of old.- Isaiah 63:9