When you carry the weight of the world

Life can be so daunting, so exhausting. Why do we keep trying? Whats the point?

When you feel like the weight of the world is carried on your shoulders how do we keep going day after day?!

My son is a type 1 diabetic, I don’t write much about this anymore but its a struggle. My son struggles. Sometimes he wonders whats it worth to keep trying to take care of himself when it all seems pointless.

He carries a silent disease that many of us don’t understand. We think we do but when we arent in it, we dont really know. It is hard day after day after day and the numbers never are quite right no matter how hard you try to keep that perfect number and you try so hard to watch what you eat and exercise but nobody knows the emotions going through your mind. It is easier to just not do it. To give no care in the world. What’s the point?

I only can understand so much being a mother of a type 1 diabetic. But I am not in his mind and body and can not quite comprehend the emotions though I try. I try so hard and it makes me sad. I want so badly to hold my child in my arms and make it all go away but he is grown up now and he will be spreading his wings soon and all I can do is be a support and pray and hope things will be good and that he will choose to take care of himself the best that he can.

It is hard to explain in words but we all feel it. The weight of it. Its always there, it never goes away. But I want to believe this suffering is for a reason and I want to believe that good always comes out of it.

And so the question I recently heard at church is “Why is it that some people who have similiar experiences each respond radically different? Because We are not a product of our environments, we are a product of how we CHOOSE to respond in our environment”

and with that I know we choose to respond with love and understanding.  We  will make life full of as many adventures as we can.  We will smile even behind tears and we will allow us to  feel sad sometimes. We wont let the pain get us down for long.  We will keep fighting even though some times its harder than others. We will keep going because it is not pointless. Theres a bigger picture to the whole story of life.

This is why I choose to live life with more fun, more freedom and more fulfillment. Life is too short to not enjoy the little moments.


~Be the Light~



3 thoughts on “When you carry the weight of the world

  1. I’m 27 years old and have suffered through 4 different heart conditions. 1 is still active, and the other 3 have left their damage behind.

    I can’t say I’ve ever really set around complaining about my health and allowing it to hold me back.

    There were many times my mother no doubt experienced the frustration you did, but I survived. I go to the gym twice per week, go hiking, cycling, participate in 5k runs… Anyone can live a full life if they choose to.

    All the best to you and your son.

    Liked by 1 person

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