Struggling with Being an Introvert

I am a born introvert. This has been something I have struggled with for a long time. I pretty much was fearful of everything you could think of. I was even scared of my own voice. I was fearful I sounded stupid or in school my answer might be wrong so I did not raise my hand. As a kid I was scared to go ask for ketchup from the counter at the restaurant. When I was first married I did not want to call the bill collectors to let them know when I could pay our bill because I was scared that they might leap out of the phone and grab me?! No not really but I was scared of phone calls. I was pretty much scared of everything. It was easy to just get by and not deal with conflict or anything that would put me out for all to see.

Though I am quiet and may not jump out to say hi to some one or be bubbly, once I get to know you and I feel trusted, I will be your best friend for life. I will be your loyal friend and have your back. I will always be there even if its on the sidelines.  Large groups are not my friend but when you get me in a small group and once I am comfortable I will talk your ear off. The problem though that I find with being this way is that because I wait for others to come to me and that I am always here, I get lonely. Trying to be heard is not an easy task when you are quiet.

Part of me wishes I could be like my daughter. She has no fear. She can talk to anyone and loves all eyes on her. She will make friends with who ever is around. She was made for something different than I was and I am thankful that I get to be her mother. I have come to terms that I was not made like that. I am quiet. I am shy. I am different.

Now that I am nearly close to 40 years of age I had to stop the fight of the introvert in me. I have grown stronger in a lot of areas. I am no longer scared to ask for ketchup and I make phone calls even though it may not be my favorite thing. I still like to avoid conflict and I like to hide away if I feel threatened or unwanted but I have come to love my quietness. I love that I love so deeply it can hurt. I love that I was made for so much more and everyday I learn about the little bits of me that grow into a new, better me. I love that I know I am loved by even a few. And not everyone may like me and that is ok. I can’t make everyone like me but the most important ones do.

So with that I say introverts embrace and know that we were made special for a reason. We may not be the loudest in the room but we can create the most presence. Be proud of who you are even when you feel small and insignificant.


#choosetoday #choosethismoment

~Be the light for all to See~



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