Till Death Do Us Part

My husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary last week. This year was big because in the last year we have grown so much together. I am proud to say we have made it this far.  There were many times I was pretty unsure.  Marriage is something that has to be worked at and it is so easy to give up. Believe me I have wanted to many of times. We have a good story. And He has a good story. Maybe someday I will write it all down. For now here’s the shortened version- well kind of. 🙂

I have a hard working, loving man and he helped make our wonderful children. I am so thankful that we have stuck it out even during the times that it didn’t seem like we would.  I would not want to go through any of the trials we have had without him by my side. We are team and this year with a lot of tests and trials that came along with it, we took a dream of his and turned into a reality. We are partners for eternity. I am his rock and he is my soul mate.

We met in high school I was only 16 years old.  We were sitting in Earth Science and I remember the minute he looked at me with this intense look and those sparkly brown eyes and he smiled at me, I melted. There was a part of me that knew I wanted to be with him. It was not until the next year, the middle of our senior year in high school, we started to date. Then after a few years of dating, we got married. We were so young I was just about to turn 20 and he was 21. About 7 months into our  marriage we got pregnant with our first born.  It was pretty fast and everything happened at once. We grew up together. Back then the being in love that we had was a puppy dog love and I have to be honest I never realized how difficult marriage really is. I had this fake idea of a fairy tale and that’s not true at all.  I did not come from a home that taught fairy tales but I guess I watched too many girly movies, I was hoping my marriage would be like a movie.

Life throws lots of wrenches in your way and things get rough and if you are not in it for the long haul well it can be  a sad goodbye. We chose the other route. Fighting and hanging on by the skin of  our teeth. During this time of having a new baby and our new marriage, we decided to pack up the little we had and venture off to Alaska with our 3month old baby in tow and start a fresh life.  I can remember it being very tough. It was quite a change. I had my family near but he left all he had known to get away from the past. It was also very cold and dark and we were completely broke. I’m really not sure how we made it those first few years but we did, barely.   Then a few more babies came into the mix and we built our first house and got in lots of debt.

My man, he is a hard worker, so hard working so that I can stay home and raise the kids and part of me took that for granted. Being young I did not see this or maybe I did not want to see this. I wanted him to see all that I did for him, I was a good wife. “Look at me I work hard too.” Wanting more than he could give when all he knew how to give was working for us and trying to give us things.  I really did not want things, I wanted my man and my family and that’s all that mattered. But I did like the big fancy house we had.  I did not know how to communicate this. Communication it is a big thing in marriage. It can break you down when you store those pains and thoughts inside and not let them out. It can fester a small wound into a giant beast that can not be tamed or healed. Until God smacks you on the head to get it together you can either listen or keep following the path you are on. We got a couple big blows until we realized a new path needed to be followed. Big changes needed to be made. Then came his heart attack and we realized we did not want to lose each other. It was time to get rid of the debt. We sold my dream house and got out of debt and started the next chapter of our life.

It has been just a few years since we decided to start fresh and have a new house and learned to live within our means. This last year has been the most growth and wonderful part of our marriage. I am so glad we made it. I am so glad I stuck it out and did not give up.  Today I love my husband more than I ever realized I could love him. I see things that I never saw. We have learned to talk when all I really want to do is keep it locked up inside. Our new communication has made our love stronger. The way you speak to your spouse can make or break a moment.  I’m not saying we are perfect and have it all figured out but I can say in the years we have fought for our lives with each other we have become wiser and with age that truly does help but we have learned to open our eyes and see whats around us. I know in my heart my man loves me more than anything and I am safe.  I need him and he needs me and we are a Team. I will not give up.


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