I struggle with my weight. I did not have this problem until I got pregnant. I was 21 when I had my first child. I ate everything in sight with him. I thought I could lose it easily, boy was I wrong. Now it’s almost 13 years and 3 kids later and I’m still trying to fight this lifelong thing called weight.
I think I’ve probably tried every thing out there and read every book/magazine on diets. I even went to the extreme of over exercising to where I woke up in pain every day because all the stress I had put on myself. It was always a temporary fix but I get right back to where I am now. I know it’s not a diet but a lifestyle. I’ve heard that over and over. I believe it’s a mental thing and quite Possibly a chemical imbalance and toxins etc etc . I also know we deal with food allergies, diabetes and gluten which is difficult. But I have lost and gained the same weight over and over between the three kids. I’ve stayed at my same weight I am now for 3 years. my husband loves me no matter how I look( not sure why but a good man 😉 ) but I can say I’m not happy with how I look. I have a closet of clothes I can’t wear because I have too many rolls. And it’s been more than once I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant. Oh dear that one hurts when my last child is almost 6. Ouch! . I want to lose it but I’m just tired of trying. It’s not really about the number on the scale it’s just to feel healthy and energetic and fit in my clothes again. It’s been a long winter of the same few jeans and shirts. Can someone say boring!!!!
I dont want my daughter to fight this struggle I do. Its seems to be a running in the family thing and if I can teach my daughter food is not an enemy, maybe i can break that chain. Food is good. It can nourish us and it can heal us. it’s also a social thing. We have get togethers and food is always there. I have got to come to terms with it. Because well, I love food as much as I hate it.
I love finding food blogs and learning new recipes and healthier ways to eat. It’s been a huge focus lately. One day as I was snooping around on pinterest I ran across this web blog. Www.canyoustayfordinner.com. I read in awe. This girl had figured it out. I want this. I want to figure it out. Because in some ways i have but in others not so much. I want to find balance.
Now I know I’ve talked about healthier eating and better choices but I’m also someone who sometimes wants to eat a bag of m&ms and a coke. I can’t help it, its just me. Growing up, our pay for work was a 6 pack of cokes and a bag of peanut m&ms. Mmmm I’m salivating just thinking about it. my brothers and I loved it. Plain and simple I’m real and I eat junk. If I could I’d choose chocolate all day. Chocolate and peanut butter.
It doesn’t help me I may have gone through a winter slump.
After many months of not focusing on myself, I’m going to put some effort into me. Because when i focus on me I’m better for my kids and my man but I wish it didn’t have to be so tough. I will eat healthy but I will also indulge in a treat and I will savor it , every last bite. Maybe I can fit into some more pants. I’m ready to go closet shopping !!!